Movie Review: The Expendables 3 (2014)

I feel as though no spoiler alert is necessary, as you should know what you’re getting from The Expendables franchise, if you ever had any interest in it, by now. There are no surprises. You’re getting a movie that tries to draw upon the nostalgia of action movies and actors from the past three decades. However, the action-hero movie genre should not be thought of as a homogeneous monolith. There are differences along a variety of margins.

Consider the original Die Hard. We see John McClane as quite vulnerable. Whereas other action movies have led us to perceive a bullet wound in an extremity as a minor annoyance, broken glass presents a real obstacle to McClane. We don’t see him taking on a million guys at once, but resorting to guerilla tactics due to his comparative weakness in force. Because of this, the drama is far more palpable and McClane seems much more heroic.

Contrast this with The Expendables 3, which contains no tension at any point. The audience is never led to feel that the protagonists are ever in any serious danger at all, despite the fact that they are routinely vastly outnumbered and outgunned. Regardless of all the “action” that occurs in the film, it makes for a rather boring experience.

Also disappointing is the missed opportunity in drawing on the potential nostalgia of the characters associated with the cast members. For example, there is a subtle reference to the character played by Antonio Banderas in Desperado and Once Upon a Time in Mexico, but why not just make up some excuse to have El Mariachi in The Expendables rather than have Banderas play some generic guy?  I mean, it’s not like it would damage the plot in terms of its plausibility or cheesiness. The payoff of seeing guitar cases filled with guns or guitar cases as guns would be totally worth it. The same goes for other beloved characters like Statham’s Frank Martin. Would a story that finds a way to bring these disparate characters together make sense? Probably not. Would anyone care? Probably not. This is The Expendables, after all.

My final grief has to do with the phenomenon of the villain having ample opportunity to dispatch the good guy(s) and for no reason choosing not to. This happens multiple times in The Expendables 3. Early in the movie, the evil Mel Gibson has Rocky Balboa in his crosshairs, but chooses to wound another guy. He is able to capture most of Rocky’s team and later sets a trap that could kill Rocky and the other guys he brings to rescue them, but instead of just blowing them up, he gives them a 45 second grace period in which to disable his bomb. Why he does this, other than keeping the movie from abruptly ending, is not explained. And, in what was supposed to be the climatic showdown between Rocky and Gibson, Gibson has the ability to shoot Rocky dead but instead decides to toss his gun away in order to have a fist fight. The reason for this can’t be to see who’s the better fighter, as Rocky eventually grabs a gun and just shoots Gibson. All of this leaves one feeling as though the villain isn’t that evil (even though we’re told he did all these bad things in the past), but rather exceptionally merciful. Needless to say, this does not make for a compelling triumph over evil.

The Expendables 3 is not really satisfying in any way. It lacks creativity, plausibility, and a reason to keep watching. With Hollywood’s preference for producing tried-and-true formulas, I wouldn’t be that surprised if they tried to make another one, perhaps with an all-female cast. 

Classic Li: Romeo Must Die (2000)

More Li, more DMX (but only a little bit more). Classic Li rolls on with Romeo Must Die, one of Jet's highest-profile projects.

Romeo Must Die is supposed to be loosely based on Shakespeare's play. It is, kind of, only in the sense that most tragic love stories are more or less like Shakespeare's play. Of course, this one isn't much of a tragedy, but it does have sweethearts caught in the middle of a turf war between rival gangs of different races, and their love is forbidden because of it, so you can see how it fits the Romeo and Juliet model. After his brother his killed in the US, Jet escapes from a prison in Hong Kong to avenge him. While hotwiring a taxi, he meets and is all smitten with Aaliyah, the daughter of a crime boss in Oakland who wants to be the first black owner in the NFL or something. Jet and Aaliyah bat eyelashes at each other and try to figure out what's really going on between the factions. What happens next? Why, hip hop and wire fu and love, that's what.

Like Cradle 2 the Grave (and to a lesser extent Exit Wounds), this one gives a lot of time to the drama and only a little to the action, at least until the end of the film. For the most part, I don't mind so much drama because the relationship between Jet and Aaliyah is totally believable. They're cute together and the scenes between them seem natural, remarkable given the inexperience of Aaliyah and a still new-to-Hollywood Jet Li. This is also why the ending to Romeo Must Die is one of the most unsatisfying in all of cinema. If you've seen the film, you know what I mean. It's all wrong. Nonetheless, there's a few standout fights in this one, especially Jet's football game and his tag-team maneuvers with Aaliyah (incidentally, they put a beating on Nancy from Rumble in the Bronx). Things do slow down considerably in the middle of the film, but like Cradle 2 the Grave and Exit Wounds, most of the action is saved for the finale. Romeo Must Die is a Hollywood film, though, so the excessive qualities of Jet Li's Hong Kong films are tempered quite a bit in favor of dialogue. While this is a slick package with plenty of production values going for it, as well as a believable romantic sub-plot (a rare thing in a kung fu movie), this is also a bit cursory in terms of action. Romeo Must Die works well as an introduction to Jet Li, but he made much better films, both before and after.

Classic Li: The Warlords (2007)

Though questionable as a Jet Li classic, The Warlords is currently available on Netflix and thus provides a readily available movie review. This film is much unlike Li's other work, only sparingly displaying his skills as a martial artist. It does, however, present an interesting tale of Chinese history, but might require supplemental contextual understanding to be fully appreciated.

The Warlords is a story about Pang (Jet Li), a general in the imperial army during the 1860s, when the Ming Dynasty was trying to put down the Taiping rebellion. We find Pang the sole survivor of a battle with the rebels, finding his way to a village where a kindly woman named Lian takes him in and feeds him (and makes happy time in bed, too). The next day he meets a bandit named Jiang, who introduces him to his brother Zhao (who happens to be the significant other of Lian). Taiping rebels raid their village that night and kill an elderly villager. The next day, the imperial army looks for recruits among the villagers, who are desperate for both protection and sustenance. Pang, Jiang, and Zhao decide to form a blood pact and attack a convoy to prove to the commanders of the imperial army that they are able to defeat much bigger forces and ask for troops to help them do so. Therein begins their military campaign that occupies the majority of the film.

What was particularly interesting to me about this film was the narrative that I thought it was presenting but then appeared to alter later in the story. Particularly after the attempted recruitment of the recovering villagers and the appeal by Pang to the imperial army officers (who appeared to be old men who had never seen combat themselves), I was prepared for a war story told from the perspective of those who populate army ranks: the poor and lower classes who have no better options. We immediately sympathize with them, as they are only trying to eek out a meager agricultural living in the Chinese countryside and have nothing to do with the wars between the Ming Dynasty and the rebels. They are put in an unenviable situation, where by joining the army they might prevent further devastation to their village by rebels, but are subservient to a political class that has done no apparent thing to earn their allegiance (other than conquering other peoples, taking their stuff, and being able to offer these villagers protection. They are like a mafia on a large scale).

Thus, the blood pact brothers' effort, along with other villagers, to defeat the Taiping rebels in order to bring lasting peace seems noble, but we still have at the back of our minds that though their early victories seem empowering (if not downright glorious, thus leading me to question the "war is hell and fought by the poor for the benefit of the rich"narrative), they remain subservient to the imperial political classes no matter what. Thus, any military victory they secure tastes bittersweet to the audience and we are not fully able to partake in them. (Furthermore, we are not informed of the grievance of the Taiping rebels, which may as well be large and justified considering the costs they are willing to bear to fight the empire.)

In the end, what I thought would be an inspiring tale of common men managing to beat the system and not be relegated to fodder for the empire, turned out to be a story that is not unfamiliar to us today; that is, warfare waged by pawns at the behest of the powerful.

P.S. But, if it was historically accurate, of which I have my doubts, then the result is unsurprising. But it makes me wonder what significance this story holds in Chinese folklore and whether the revolutionary undertones of the film that I perceived are part of that folklore.

PS3 Review: Sleeping Dogs (2012)

There's probably three quality martial arts video games out there on consoles: our beloved Rise to Honor is the best, while Jackie Chan's Stuntmaster is a distant third. Sleeping Dogs is second best, but it's a well-deserved second place.

Rise to Honor is still tops for martial arts video games, but Sleeping Dogs is a very close second. You play as an undercover cop named Wei Shen, tasked with infiltrating a Triad organization. Honestly, there's not much to say about the narrative. It's a pretty typical Hong Kong detective story, but it's solid and performed well. You won't be surprised by Wei Shen's moral dilemmas, his loyalty to the badge conflicting with his growing admiration for his fellow gangbangers. It's been done three thousand times before. You bet it's formulaic, but it works just the same. I felt the same way about Rise to Honor: the formulaic story is actually reassuring and convenient, because you don't have to do a lot of work to figure out what's going on, you just get to fight some fools and it all feels familiar. Unlike Rise, this one is much more of a sandbox kind of game. Certainly, narrative events frame everything you do, but there's a considerable amount of freedom between missions in which you can level up your kung fu, participate in some street races, buy clothes, gamble, and so on. Sleeping Dogs pushes you to complete the primary tasks in a number of ways, but there's always time made available to you for dating or swimming in the polluted waters of Hong Kong or whatever else you want to do.

Wei's Rumble in the Bronx uniform. Not pictured: the empty
Game Gear given to that dumb kid by Jackie.

Combat in Sleeping Dogs is very similar to combat in the Arkham Asylum series. It's fluid and intuitive, and the animations between moves are super smooth. It's no match for the rhythm of combat in Rise to Honor in terms of controls, but there's plenty to love about it nonetheless. You can throw suckas off roofs or chuck them into garbage bins, similar in many ways to the interactive environments in Jet's game. Dogs does have Rise beat in terms of gunplay, however, and driving around Hong Kong is equally solid. Honestly, I have no idea if Dogs is an accurate representation of the area, but it looks great and the different districts of the city are clearly distinguishable from each other. As usual with sandbox games, you're only left with a bunch of relatively meaningless tasks once you complete the main portion of the game, but you can unlock a bunch of outfits for Wei to wear from classic kung fu movies, and you can always play through the story again. If you groove on martial arts cinema, Sleeping Dogs is perfect for you.

Movie Review: Exit Wounds (2001)

Consider this a slight detour or offshoot from our ongoing Classic Li series. Exit Wounds is like Cradle 2 the Grave, except with Steven Seagal instead of Jet. Same director, same DMX drama skillz.

Once again, cops, martial arts, and hip hop butt heads. This time a white detective played by Seagal is demoted to beat cop following an attack on the vice prez. He doesn't play by the rules, you see, and solves crimes with his unusually direct approach to law enforcement. Our favorite renegade police officer is relegated to service in a particularly nasty precinct in Detroit, and from there his new chief orders him to take classes in anger management. This makes no sense because Seagal's character never really demonstrates any significant symptoms of rage. He keeps beating people up or shooting them because they keep trying to rob or murder him. He's an unlucky bastard, not an angry one. In fact, outside of an incident in which he breaks a school desk because he's such a large man, he's a pretty cool customer overall. One night, while bumming around town in his pickup truck, he stumbles upon a heroin deal. This leads him to discover a drug smuggling conspiracy involving several of his fellow police officers. DMX seems to be involved with the smuggling, but you know, all is not what it seems, nobody can be trusted, loyalties will be tested, and so on.

Exit Wounds is nowhere near as good as Cradle 2 the Grave. Not that C2G is high art or anything, but Jet Li is so superior to Seagal, and DMX has a much larger role in that one than he does here. I've only seen Seagal in a few films, but his brand of martial arts is fairly deliberate, and in that sense it doesn't work nearly as well for me cinematically as does Jet's faster and more intricate maneuvers. Honestly, he's a big, humorless oaf and he's boring. He doesn't do it for me, but DMX sure does. Unfortunately, DMX doesn't have much to do in this one. For most of the film, he only buys expensive cars, drives around listening to his own music, visits his boys in prison, wears tank tops, and buys drugs. Seagal carries most of the film, and it suffers. DMX has more to do in the second half of the film, particularly the last half hour. Like Cradle, this film has an entertaining finale. It's entertaining enough to save Exit Wounds from being a total loss. While Seagal engages in a nonsensical sword fight, DMX ties his belt to a shotgun and uses it to fire from behind cover. It's lovingly absurd, but there's too little of this kind of thing to make it truly worthwhile.

Classic Li: Cradle 2 the Grave (2003)

We did one for Jackie, so we thought it's only fair we do one for Jet. Classic Li is our new eight-part series in which we review some classic Jet Li works. Chicken Man and I will alternate with four reviews each, though these reviews are not organized in any particular order. Up first is the Li/DMX team up Cradle 2 the Grave, a name which both looks and sounds like the title of a Prince record.

He's just so sensitive.

Cradle 2 the Grave is some very formulaic buddy cop martial arts stuff. One guy is black, the other is Asian. One likes hip hop, the other likes some different kind of music. One wears a whole lot of tank tops, the other can fight. How could they possibly accomplish anything with all those racial differences standing in their way? DMX plays the Detective Carter type, a jewel thief with a daughter and a conscience. He finds a stash of what appears to be black diamonds on a routine multi-million dollar heist, only to have those diamonds recovered by Jet, the Detective Lee type of this story. Some bozo arms dealer and his crew are out for the supposed diamonds, so he kidnaps X's daughter and holds her hostage. Naturally, reluctantly, X and Li must work together to get the little girl back, save the world from all kinds of nasty things, and promote DMX's latest single.

This is a really solid action film. DMX can't act a lick, but he doesn't have to do much besides yell/bark/hug his baby girl/gawk at a girl's cleavage while riding on a subway car, so he's palatable. Jet gets it, though; he's always at his best playing the silent but somewhat moral assassin (he doesn't particularly appreciate it when kids get hurt) like he does here. DMX does rumble a bit, but Jet really carries this as far as the martial arts are concerned. Like many of Jet and Jackie Chan's Hollywood projects, the kung fu in this one is a bit tempered when compared with their Chinese-language flicks. Still, Cradle has a nice, clean aesthetic in terms of the the fight scenes: not too many quick cuts, and not too much of that shaky-cam nonsense. It's a bit slow in the beginning, but it builds to a very satisfying climax. In fact, the final 30 minutes of Cradle is non-stop excitement, a veritable thrill-a-minute roller coaster, or something similar (I'm hoping to get Code Redd Net on the back of a DVD cover in the future, and I know how much hyphens are appreciated by the cats who make the important decisions regarding blurbs). I like Cradle 2 the Grave. I like watching Cradle 2 the Grave. I like typing Cradle 2 the Grave almost as much, but not quite as much.

Finest Fights: Unleashed (2005)

Here's a new, albeit very belated, entry in our beloved Finest Fights series. As always, your friends at Code Redd Net are dedicated to occasionally bringing you the very best in cinematic butt-kickings.

Morgan Freeman needs to be in more kung fu flicks, for real.

Unleashed is one of the great Jet Li films. And this is likely the best fight scene to ever take place in a really small bathroom.

Finest Fights: The Defender (1994)

For almost two years, Finest Fights has brought you a carefully curated selection of action cinema's best battles. Perennial favorite Jet Li returns in this installment, lifted from the finale of The Defender (1994).

This is not a particularly good Jet Li movie, but the conclusion is fairly wicked. All that stuff with the gas reminds me of the final boss in Rise to Honor, always a good thing to be reminded of. Speaking of which, why not?

Movie Review: The One (2001)

"Oi, this is me new iPhone? Roight, Raymond. Bloody children's toy, it is.
On your bike, mate."

The One is an unassailable algorithm; it's mathematical martial arts aesthetics. Everything here, in all of its breezy 80 minutes, appeals to the senses, unfiltered. In an admirable conflation of the sci-fi and kung fu genres, The One mixes equal parts wushu, special effects, slow-mo, wirework, laser blasters, muddled Nietzschian philosophy, Jason Statham. This is how the story goes: instead of a single universe, there's a "multiverse," comprised of mirror worlds and mirror selves, and wouldn't you know it, an evil Jet Li named Yu Law, finds out that killing his mostly wholesome multiverse counterparts increases his strength. We join the story in progress as Evil Jet murders another of his counterparts, leaving only Gabe Law, a duty-minded police officer played by Jet, as the penultimate Jet. Two multiverse agents, one played by the inimitable Jason Statham, are then tasked with preventing Yu Law from completing his mission. There's plenty of gratuitous special effects on display here, but unlike some other martial arts films, they augment the physical abilities of Li instead of replacing them. Smartly, Li gives his Yu/Gabe Law characters divergent fighting styles to match their respective moral outlooks, and this becomes important during the climatic sequence. Most importantly, it's a visual extension of the thematic content, embodied rather than merely spoken, and the fights gain so much in legibility and genre specificity because of this. The action sequences are clean, and the purely physical stunts are well-integrated with the CGI. As previously mentioned, the final fight sequence between the dueling Jets is a wonderful conflation of traditional wushu choreography and special effects. Other highlights include a superb late-90s/early aughts soundtrack, including many of my pubescent favorites like Papa Roach. It's also worth noting that this was something of an early milestone in the career of Jason Statham; indeed, this was most likely our proper introduction to him. He's unquestionably foregrounded in this film, particularly near the end, and he lays out nearly all his quirks rather quickly. For many reasons, including purely personal, purely nostalgic ones, The One has earned a rightful place in the Code Redd Net canon.

Movie Review: The Forbidden Kingdom (2008)

I feel the same way.

Unfortunately, The Forbidden Kingdom was released 10 years too late, at best; in both physical capabilities and star power, Jackie Chan and Jet Li have noticeably deteriorated in the interim. What comes out of their first onscreen pairing then is a mediocre kung fu epic, a celebrity all-star game, built upon a rickety foundation of reputation in which the name value lent by the masters is more important than their former abilities. Too bad, because a Jackie/Jet rumble in the 90s was the stuff of our grade school daydreams. Kingdom's got an inane premise, sure, and though that's a virtual prerequisite for the martial arts genre, it's not even inane enough to set up some spectacular fights. See, this kid named Jason loves Hong Kong action cinema, and on his latest trip to a mysterious pawn shop, he runs afoul with a band of malcontents his age. They rough him up so bad that he is magically whisked away to feudal times where he now has to hone his skills, at the behest of Jackie and Jet, so that he can return a staff to its proper place, fulfilling a destiny, you get it. There's many problems with this story, not the least of which is the shoehorning in of a white guy to be our unnecessary, emotional Orientalist tour guide, but the principle sin is unquestionably the all-too-brief fight between Jackie and Jet. It's fine for what it is, but it's not fine because of what it could've been. Technically, the choreography is clean, the cinematography is unobtrusive, and even the editing is a-ok, but there's little interesting about the whole thing and there should be when the team-up involves these two. Instead, Kingdom's stars are simply there to give the rub to others, most notably our intrepid white boy hero, and his acting is awful even by kung fu film standards. All Kingdom can do is send us back to our other DVDs.

Finest Fights: Romeo Must Die (2000)

Still bringing you the best fight scenes available on YouTube, only now, we bring 'em intermittently.

In honor of this week's NFL kickoff, here's Jet Li trying his best to be a running back in Romeo Must Die:

Movie Review: The Expendables 2 (2012)

The Expendables 2 does what a sequel should; shoots up with what worked before, and curtails its more distracting vices. There was way too much plot, and way too much pathos, in The Expendables. For the most part, that's pretty much gone here. Our titular gang of mercs are out and about, doing what they do best, when a job is botched and one of their brightest, and youngest, recruits is murdered by a gang of thieves lead by the scenery-chomping Jean-Claude Van Damme. It's a simple revenge plot, and it works, because it's simple and because it always has. After the pre-credits shootout there's a middle portion that gets a bit too dialogue-y, veering off into corny, poorly-acted sentiment, but soon enough the explosions return and they never really stop. Expendables 2 knows its core audience far better than it did before, and its brand of nostalgia is acutely knowledgeable of the expectations it needs to meet. Everyone, all those bolded text, above-the-title actors, does what they can to really ham it up. Smartly, each player gets time to do what he (and even she!, that being relative newcomer Nan Yu) does best; Stallone gets to throw those left hooks like Rocky Balboa, Statham headbutts some poor fools and throws knives, Jet Li finds the time to get down with some well-choreographed martial arts before disappearing from the film early on, and the inimitable Arnold Schwarzenegger gets to say idiotic things and fire comically big guns. It's like an 80s/90s action movie all-you-can-eat buffet; mix and match what you like from what's advertised, and you're likely to be satisfied with your meal.

Our Third Podcast, Still On iTunes!

This week we bring you the third episode of the CRN Podcast, embedded below for you convience, and subtitled "Rumble in Vancouver," for our own amusement.

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Movie Review: Ong-Bak (2003)

I don't know if there's ever been a martial arts film that circumvents its own narrative with the same energy as Ong-Bak. Sure, there's a story here, about the theft of a sacred statue and a young man's quest to return the totem to his village, but whatever the reason we are given for Tony Jaa's acrobatics, those reasons are quickly erased by the presentation of his considerable choreographed skills. You don't need to know why Jaa is fighting so-and-so; all you need to know is how he's fighting so-and-so. He communicates the importance of the contest, indeed tells the entire story of the contest, with his body alone. In that sense, the cinematography during the fight scenes, cinematography which stays a fair distance away from Jaa and rarely moves in for a close-up, provides him with the appropriate means to put his dance on display. Context is everything; because the camera generally keeps his entire body in frame, you don't miss the sum of his movements. Jaa thrives on the realism of his presentation, much like any professional athlete worthy of awe, and any overtly artificial technique, such as rapid editing or close-ups, would simply hack him to pieces, and we would not see the chemistry between him, his opponent, his surroundings, and his own body. It's significant that Ong-Bak makes liberal use of replays to show us the same stunts from different angles, and in slow-mo. Such replays break up the narrative, stalling the story so we can have another look at Jaa's latest feat of daring-do. The story practically evaporates in these moments. Ong-Bak is like an early Jackie Chan film, where his rare physical talents are showcased, rather than his reputation; and even though Jaa is not yet on the same level as Chan in communicating the psychology of his fights, they may be equals in raw athletic prowess.

PS1 Review: Jackie Chan: Stuntmaster (2000)

Really, Rise to Honor is the end-all be-all for cinematic martial arts video games. It's a niche market, surely, and the only truly comparable game, Jackie Chan: Stuntmaster, is more Super Mario World than anything else. Much like their onscreen exploits, Jackie's game is far more cartoonish and over-the-top than Jet's. Rise to Honor, though, has a much more integrated story to go along with all the fights and gun battles; Stuntmaster only has a few short cinematics that set up a rather simple narrative thread involving the kidnapping of Jackie's grandfather. As a result, Jackie must meander through different areas of New York City in order to rescue him. The levels themselves are well-designed and surprisingly interactive. When you encounter an adversary, you can put down with the square and x buttons to fire off a few punches or kicks, or you can pick up a nearby table or mop to add a little variety to your combos, or you can roll across tables to escape, or you can spring off the wall and stun your opponents with a backflip kick. These fights are quite entertaining, even though the boss battles are way too easy for my taste. When you're not fighting anyone, most of the time you'll be running and jumping through progressively more dangerous obstacle courses. Much like the old school Mario games, the camera here stays stationary most of the time, except to zoom in occasionally when you move into the background. Sometimes depth can be hard to judge in these platforming portions, so that a ledge you think is directly in front of you is actually jutting out a bit into the foreground. This becomes increasingly problematic later on as the obstacles become quite complicated and require so much dexterity and timing. Stuntmaster is a very difficult game, one of the hardest I've played in a while, and it ramps up suddenly and frustratingly. Thankfully, though, there's just so much charm and personality to recommend in Stuntmaster. Jackie's mo-capped moves and voice-overs are wonderful, and there's something suspiciously delightful in tossing bad guys off of roofs, all while Jackie's asks after them, "Why don't we talk about this, like gentlemen?" Chan connoisseurs will certainly like this one, provided they can get all the way through. It's not perfect, and it's definitely not in the same league as Rise to Honor, but if you're looking for more martial arts action on your PS1 or 2, then this is the only other game in town.

For Your Viewing Pleasure, Chickenman's Top Ten Video Games (Part 5)

Top Ten List in Review:
The Sims (PC)
Star Wars: Battlefront (PS2)
Hitman: Blood Money (PS2)
Everything or Nothing (PS2)

All he wanted was some Wushu

Rise to Honor is the best fighting game that I have ever played. I find it more appealing than having to memorize complex, button-masher combos and just let my sticks do my talking. Jet Li's Wushu is beautifully captured and very fun to experience. Also what is great about the game is how similar it is to a DVD of a Hong Kong martial arts film. You open up the menu and you have Chapters and Language Options (with or without subtitles). The story is also like a typical martial arts movie; I'm just here for the fight scenes. What is also pleasing is that it does not feel repetitive. One encounters multiple fighting styles presenting different challenges throughout the entire game. Simply, this is a must-have for martial arts fans.

Honorable Mentions:
Streets of Rage 2 (Genesis), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time (Arcade)

Finest Fights: The One (2001)

Bringing you the best fight scenes available on YouTube, every Tuesday afternoon.

Jet Li vs. Jet Li? No wonder this "one" won the Code Redd Net Award for Best Jet Li Movie:



And just for fun, enjoy a bonus clip of the final boss battle in what we believe is the best martial arts game of all time, PS2's Rise to Honor:

Code Redd Net Awards: Finest Fight

Our next award is for Finest Fight. Nominees consist of our favorite fight scenes from the action cinema of Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Jason Statham, and others. It is important to note that only the indicated fight scene is up for the award, and not the film itself. And the nominees are...

Ladder Fight from Jackie Chan's First Strike (1996):



Rooftop Fight (featuring Crazy Legs) from Jackie Chan's Who Am I? (1998):



Twins Fight from Kiss of the Dragon (2001):



James Bond/Red Grant throwdown from From Russia With Love (1963):



Garage Fight from Transporter 2 (2005):



And the winner is...

Rooftop Fight (featuring Crazy Legs) from Jackie Chan's Who Am I?

Movie Review: War (2007)

What a lost opportunity. Here you have two of the best (and most fun) action heroes in around, and you pump out this kind of drivel? Action movies starring either one of these two are simple to execute, really: first, you need a (generally dumb) premise that calls for maximum kung fu and minimum logic; and second, you step aside and let the choreographers get down to business and let the performers cut a rug with their immense skill. Not at all difficult, and yet War manages to mess around with the formula to very disappointing results. The idea of the film is a decent enough start, and more than apt for the genre at hand: Jet Li plays an assassin named Rogue, and Jason Statham plays the family-oriented FBI agent sent to track him down after he murders one of Statham's buddies. Unfortunately, this idea is only extrapolated in lots and lots of shootouts. And while I'm not against a good shootout, I did expect to see some of the martial arts prowess Li and (to a lesser extent) Statham are famous for. Except for a sword fight near the end of the film, the physical action is at a minimum, and the only excitement is lost by a mass of CGI explosions and wonky car chases. At no time does the film seem interested in the abilities of either Li and Statham. Skip this and watch The One instead.

Movie Review: Kiss of the Dragon (2001)

Jet Li movies tend to be much more adult, in terms of both story and stunts, than those of Jackie Chan. And while I still believe Chan to be the superior artist, though he treads in lighter fare, I have nevertheless grown something of an appreciation for Li's back catalogue. His sensibility is more hardcore and hip-hop than pop (and this is substantiated by films such as the somewhat anemic but blithe DMX team-up, Cradle 2 the Grave). Likewise, his films are populated with a grotesquerie of whores, pimps, pedophiles, gangsters, and other almost-overbearingly foul-mouthed characters. Kiss of the Dragon (2001) is certainly no different. Li plays a Chinese operative stuck in Paris and betrayed by his corrupt French cohorts, led by Police Inspector Richard. He is subsequently forced to enlist the aid of a hooker named Jessica (Bridget Fonda) in order to clear his name. As you would imagine, all manner of fights ensue as Li tracks down Inspector Richard, systematically eliminating his subordinates while simultaneously protecting Fonda from harm. In this way, the film has a simple and straightforwardly linear progression, similar to an old video game; you could conceivably break the film down into stages, each with their own boss fight, and each "leveling up" our hero as he sprints to the final battle. These "stages" feature some creative stunt set-ups, including a harrowing (and almost Hitchcockian) laundry shoot escape, as well as a superb showdown between Li and two behemoths in an abandoned office. Fonda is a surprising find, as she brings some seldom-seen dramatic weight to her character despite its "Hooker with a Heart of Gold" tropeism. Save for a few "stages," Kiss of the Dragon is unremarkable, but nonetheless entertaining, kung fu filler.